I’m feeling a bit depressed

Okay, ‘depressed’ might not be the right word. I think ‘funk’ suits my mood more. I’m sure we all go through this at one point or another. A period of time in which we just don’t quite feel like ourselves. We feel a bit off, maybe even a little sad or mad.

I think I’m going through that right now. What’s worse is that I’m a tad ashamed and embarrassed on why I feel this way. You want to know? It’s because I think I’m a terrible actor (something I have a HUGE passion for) and a bad writer.

Right now, my brother and I are making a short film. He tends to do most of the camera work and editing and I do most of the acting and writing. I’m having trouble writing this script though. It never seems to be quite right, or quite how I want it. I keep wanting to work on it with my brother but I think I’ve exhausted him at this point. The script never seems to be good enough. It hasn’t reached the point yet where I can be proud of it.

Because I play the main character I also have to do a lot of the acting. Today I went through the scenes and scenarios but I’ve come to the conclusion that I suck. Whenever I read the lines they don’t sound convincing enough. Whenever I try to do the right facial expressions, they don’t look real enough.

People say that your worst critic is yourself and I think I’d have to agree with that. I have bashed myself for my acting more than necessary I think. I stress and worry about it more than I should. What I find even dumber though is that I shouldn’t be so worried about it because there’s no reason to! Acting for me at the moment is just a hobby, it’s not a career. But I’ve been thinking. If I care about my acting so much, does that mean that I should get into it more?

Thank you to whoever is reading this. I must sound like a complete lunatic. I just needed to get this off my chest, and this blog was the only place that I could do so.

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2 thoughts on “I’m feeling a bit depressed

Add yours

  1. Hey man, don’t be so hard on yourself. You can’t expect to be an amazing actor right from the get go. The more you practice the better you’ll become. I suggest joining a theatre club somewhere so you can have fun performing with other like minded people. Good luck.

    Liked by 1 person

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